Assertiveness for Earth Angels: How to Be Loving Instead of “Too Nice” by Doreen Virtue.
Doreen Virtue’s Assertiveness for Earth Angels is a refreshing and empowering guide.
It’s for individuals identifying with the Earth Angels concept and seeking to enhance their assertiveness skills.
Known for her angelic and spiritual guidance expertise, Virtue takes a unique self-help approach, blending spirituality with practical strategies for effective communication.
Who Is Doreen Virtue?
Doreen Virtue is a former psychologist who is now a spiritual author and teacher known for her work in angel therapy and new-age spirituality.
She authored numerous books on angels, spirituality, and self-help, gaining popularity for her unique approach to blending metaphysical concepts with practical guidance.
In 2017, Virtue publicly announced her conversion to Christianity and distanced herself from her previous works in the New Age genre.
This shift surprised and stirred controversy within the spiritual community.
This review was written in 2013, 4 years before her conversion to Christianity. It’s been updated since.
About Earth Angels
Do people take advantage of your niceness?
Doreen Virtue teaches Earth Angels —lovely people who care more about others’ happiness than their own—how to maintain their inner peace and loving nature while simultaneously holding boundaries.
You’ll discover how to overcome fears about saying no and how to ask for what you want from those around you and the universe.
Assertiveness for Earth Angels is for anyone who wants to learn the art of speaking up in relationships and their activism about issues related to the world.
Whether you need more assertiveness with your family, on the job, or in your healing work, you’ll appreciate Doreen’s gentle but firm approach to negotiating your earthly needs in heavenly ways!
Related: Why A Healthy Ego Is A Good Thing To Have
Assertiveness for Earth Angels
The definition of assertiveness: You are aware of your feelings and opinions and state them to yourself and others in a way that respects other people’s rights.
An assertive person is kind, peaceful, and gentle yet never apologizes for his or her feelings because feelings are to be honored and respected.
Earth Angel can also mean “Lightworker,” a term related to highly sensitive people on a spiritual mission to bring peace to the world.
Earth Angels are a subcategory of lightworkers, the sweet, loving, giving lightworkers of the world.
Earth angels are natural healers whose presence heals people, animals, and plants. They are highly connected to the divine and naturally intuitive.
They’re so connected that they’re frequently ungrounded, spacey, and forgetful.
Earth Angels can become obsessed with other people’s happiness. If anyone they love is unhappy, they become upset. They blame themselves for their unhappiness, creating the Earth Angel’s cycle of codependency, where your happiness depends on another.
Because of this misalignment, their relationships may go up and down emotionally.
“If someone is inconsiderate or rude to you, risk telling them how it made you feel or that you didn’t appreciate being treated that way.
If you tend to talk yourself out of anger by telling yourself that you don’t want to make waves, try telling yourself instead that it is okay to make waves sometimes and risk letting people know how you really feel.”
― Beverly Engel, The Nice Girl Syndrome Stop Being Manipulated and Abused — and Start Standing Up for Yourself
Assertiveness For Earth Angels Book Review
The book begins by introducing the concept of Earth Angels, individuals believed to be empathetic, compassionate, and spiritually attuned.
Virtue contends that Earth Angels often struggle with assertiveness due to their innate desire to please others and avoid conflict.
Throughout the book, she delves into the challenges faced by Earth Angels and provides insightful tools to help them navigate various situations assertively.
One of the book’s strengths lies in Virtue’s compassionate writing style.
Her words are like a gentle guiding hand, offering encouragement and understanding to those struggling to assert themselves in different aspects of life. She emphasizes the importance of self-care and setting boundaries while maintaining a loving and nurturing approach.
Virtue combines spiritual wisdom with practical exercises to help readers develop and strengthen their assertiveness.
Including affirmations, prayers, and visualizations adds a unique dimension to the book, catering to readers who appreciate a holistic approach to personal development.
The practical tips provided in the book are well-grounded and applicable in various real-life scenarios.
Virtue covers topics such as expressing needs and desires, handling criticism, and navigating challenging relationships.
The anecdotes and case studies shared throughout the book add a personal touch, making it easy for readers to relate to the experiences of others.
However, it’s essential to note that the spiritual aspect of the book may not resonate with everyone. Readers not inclined towards New Age or spiritual beliefs may find certain sections less relatable.
Additionally, some may view the concept of Earth Angels as somewhat esoteric, which could affect the book’s accessibility to a broader audience.
How Can Earth Angels Be More Assertive?
Here are some tips to help them cultivate assertiveness:
- Set Boundaries: Clearly define personal limits and communicate them. Be firm yet compassionate in expressing what is acceptable and what is not.
- Practice Self-Care: Prioritize self-care to maintain emotional and physical well-being. Recognize that taking care of oneself is not selfish but necessary for sustained support to others.
- Use “I” Statements: When expressing needs or concerns, use “I” statements to assert oneself without sounding accusatory. For example, say “I feel” or “I need” to convey personal feelings and requirements.
- Learn to Say No: It’s okay to decline requests or invitations. Saying no with kindness and explaining personal limitations helps maintain balance.
- Develop Communication Skills: Hone active listening and assertive communication skills. Clearly articulate thoughts and feelings while also being open to others’ perspectives.
- Visualize Success: Use positive visualization techniques to imagine successful, assertive interactions. This can build confidence and help in actual situations.
- Affirmations: Create and repeat positive affirmations that reinforce self-worth and assertiveness. Affirmations can reshape thought patterns and boost confidence.
- Role-Playing: Practice assertive communication through role-playing scenarios. This can help build confidence and prepare for real-life situations.
- Connect with Like-minded Individuals: Surrounding oneself with supportive and like-minded individuals can foster a sense of empowerment and provide encouragement.
- Seek Professional Guidance: If struggling with assertiveness, consider seeking guidance from a therapist or counselor. They can provide personalized strategies and tools.
Remember, assertiveness is a skill that can be developed over time. It’s about balancing kindness and compassion while standing up for oneself.
Earth Angels and Lightworkers can harness their unique qualities to assert themselves in a way that aligns with their values and mission.
Related: Are You A Starseed?
How To Tell Someone Is an Earth Angel
Identifying an Earth Angel or Lightworker involves observing certain characteristics and behaviors associated with their spiritual and empathetic nature.
While not everyone with these traits necessarily identifies as such, here are signs that someone may be an Earth Angel or Lightworker:
- Deep Empathy: They display an extraordinary level of empathy, often feeling the emotions of others profoundly.
- Healing Abilities: A natural inclination and ability to comfort and heal others, whether through words, touch, or energy work.
- Love for Nature and Animals: An affinity for nature and a deep connection with animals, often sensing and understanding their feelings.
- Unconditional Love: They radiate love and kindness without judgment, accepting others for who they are.
- Spiritual Awareness: A strong sense of spiritual awareness and a belief in the interconnectedness of all things.
- Strong Intuition: Heightened intuitive abilities, with a deep trust in their inner guidance or higher self.
- Desire for Peace: A strong desire to create harmony and peace in relationships and the world, often avoiding conflict.
- Sensitivity to Energy: They are sensitive to energy shifts, vibrations, and can feel the energy of different places and people.
- Aversion to Violence: A strong aversion to violence, cruelty, or injustice, with a commitment to making a positive impact.
- Empowerment Focus: A tendency to empower and uplift others, encouraging personal growth and self-discovery.
- Drawn to Healing Arts: Interest or involvement in healing arts, energy work, holistic health, or alternative therapies.
- Dreams and Visions: They may experience vivid dreams, spiritual visions, or have a strong connection with the dream realm.
- Feeling Different: A sense of being different or not entirely fitting into societal norms, often feeling like a “misfit.”
- Natural Counselor: People are naturally drawn to them for advice, comfort, or support due to their compassionate nature.
- Awakening Journey: An experience of a spiritual awakening or a transformative event that shifted their perspective on life.
It’s essential to approach these signs with an open mind and recognize that everyone is unique. Not everyone with these traits will identify as an Earth Angel or Lightworker, and labels may not resonate with everyone.
These signs merely offer insights into the spiritual and empathetic qualities associated with these terms.
You will love my article about Lightworkers And Darkworkers
Stop Being ‘Too Nice‘
According to Doreen Virtue, Earth Angels are “nice” people with big, open hearts, so they can’t see when involved in toxic relationships. They excuse and minimize other people’s behavior: “He didn’t mean to act that way, and he was having a bad day.”
Even more toxic is when Earth Angels blame themselves for someone’s harsh behavior: “if I were nicer [or thinner, smarter, richer, etc.], then he’d treat me better.”
Doreen Virtue teaches Earth Angels —lovely people who care more about others’ happiness than their own—how to maintain their inner peace and loving nature while simultaneously holding boundaries.
You’ll discover how to overcome fears about saying no and how to ask for what you want from those around you and the universe.
Assertiveness for Earth Angels is for anyone who wants to learn the art of speaking up in relationships and their activism about issues related to the world.
Whether you need more assertiveness with your family, on the job, or in your healing work, you’ll appreciate Doreen’s gentle but firm approach to negotiating your earthly needs in heavenly ways!
This is nonsense! Don’t take responsibility for someone’s cruel treatment.
Doreen Virtue claims that Earth Angels tolerate harsh and abusive relationships because they’re afraid of being alone, in the wrong, or judged. They force themselves to rise above mistreatment by disconnecting from their feelings.
Dissociation from your feelings does no one any good, and it makes you out of touch with your physical body, which can lead you to overeat without realizing you’re full. It can also lead you to ignore symptoms that need immediate healing treatment.
Dissociation also keeps you from sensing your emotions. When you’re numb, you can’t hear your angels’ messages, and your sensitivity shuts down. Since heaven’s messages come on the frequency of your attunement to energy, you need to be in touch with your feelings.
Earth Angels don’t know any better than staying in an abusive relationship because they haven’t had many human relationships experience. After all, they’re used to living in the higher-vibrational realms!
This has led them to be socially awkward, and they may feel lonely.
So, they allow any relationship to persist because they don’t want to be alone. As an Earth Angel, you’re a teacher for peace. How will they learn if you take the harsh treatment others dish out? Also, if someone’s treating you harshly, they are doing the same to others.
Teaching them a better way to behave can prevent other people from being mistreated.
Earth Angels Avoid Conflict
Earth Angels prefer to avoid conflict at all costs. Sometimes, they numb themselves so much by cooperating with others that they completely disconnect themselves from their opinions.
Other Earth Angels are conflict-phobic because they’re shy and don’t want to call attention to themselves. They prefer to remain invisible, so they rarely speak up for themselves. If they do, people don’t hear or notice them.
More than likely, if the Earth Angels spoke up for themselves, they were met with harsh words or punishment in the past. The fear comes from your ego and past experiences.
The problem with this is people will never know how you feel.
The conflict phobia markets Earth Angels to target manipulative people who take advantage of others’ niceness. Before they learn their earthly lesson about holding boundaries, Earth Angels usually fall under the spell of selfish people who only care about their own needs.
Earth Angels Are In A Bind
Their life purpose is to bring peace to the world. They are lights sent from heaven to shine peace and happiness and lift others’ consciousness and vibrations. They are usually the kindest, friendliest, and gentlest people.
They pride themselves on being excellent, even in the most challenging situations. Earth Angels will lose their temper when pushed to their limit. They view themselves as strong, even though they’re highly sensitive.
They shoulder other people’s responsibilities and rarely ask for help for themselves. If assistance is offered, they won’t accept it because they don’t want to bother anyone.
Earth Angels tend to overlook people’s hurtful behavior-especially toward them.
They are here to bring more light into the world and not to enable people’s selfish behavior. Earth Angels need to call out people on their behavior to learn from the effects of their behavior.
Clingy Neediness From Others
According to Doreen Virtue, clingy people are insecure individuals who latch onto whoever will acknowledge their existence by giving them attention.
As a caring Earth Angel, you can sense that such people need love, and the problem is that they’re a bottomless pit of neediness, which neither you nor anyone else can fill.
This person constantly texts, calls, and emails you; they may even pop over unannounced for visits. This individual may have a misconceived notion of the degree of your friendship and mistakenly believe that you’re best friends when you’re casual acquaintances.
- How this relationship affects you: This person has you looking over your shoulder always to avoid them. You start to feel guilty because you know that this person enjoys your company and feels they need you, even though no one needs anyone as their source in a spiritual sense.
- How to handle this: You must always tell the truth with love as an assertive Earth Angel. So, you’ll need to summon the courage to tell this person you’re busy with projects requiring more space.
This insecure person will likely feel wounded and take your words personally, but you can’t put your whole life on hold to satisfy someone. By pretending to be friends, you’re enabling unhealthy behavior.
Perhaps there’s someone else who would genuinely enjoy this person’s company, and if you get out of the way by being honest, it leaves room for that new and more appropriate individual to come into their life.
Conclusion
Assertiveness for Earth Angels is a valuable resource for individuals seeking spiritual insight and practical advice on assertiveness.
Doreen Virtue’s empathetic approach and actionable strategies provide a supportive guide for those balancing compassion and assertiveness.
While the spiritual aspect may not resonate universally, readers open to this perspective will embark on a transformative journey toward self-empowerment and enhanced communication skills.